2023-05-04: weirdness

yesterday was an objectively good day. i ran with the dogs. i booked that vacation (!!!). raked up the vole grass, booked a haircut.

i also started feeling a weird, deep anxiety. reading a recent reddit post on being sexually assaulted as a teenager by an older girl (why was i reading it? what good could come from this?) had me thinking about not what touched off the worst year of my life, but another time, years later; one i'd always told myself was fine.

i've written and rewritten this, unsure what to include. wondering, as always, if i'm being watched. ridiculous of course. who in 2023 is going through neocities, trying to pin any particular site on me. but,

leaving the details unsaid. putting my original post in my archive. last time i kept an online journal i was open and it burned me and looking at everything i wrote in those years, i wish i'd written even more, good and bad. so, two versions of this file. in this one, i don't name it. in this one, i don't say what happened that midsummer morning.