2023-05-18: slow going

the trip's booked. going somewhere hot later this year. i'm over the moon — haven't had a real vacation in half a decade.

i'm giving in to my worst instincts. i wanna look good when i get there. i'll keep running until the snow falls. i'll use my weights more often, and more weight. i want to lose fat. i want to look good with my shirt off, because if we're being honest, i never really have. all i have is this one life. why can't i be vain for a while? would be nice to have a bit of definition. i can roll out of bed and run 10k, 20k, no problem. i'd just like to look like i can do it. for once in my life i want to look conventionally good.