2023-05-26: therapist

further to what i wrote the other day: i texted my therapist and tried to set an app't, but she texted back that since it had been more than two months since our last session, i needed to get another referral.

so i call the eap line. there's a crisis line and a regular line. select regular line. a woman answers. i describe what it's for. individual, couple, or family? ("individual"). what's the therapy for? (this stops me for several seconds; she doesn't say anything, so i assume this is often a delicate, long-pausing question; anyway, how much do you tell a csr?; jesus; "it's about ... when i was younger.")

she says something and has a strong quebec accent and i'm having trouble understanding, so i ask her to repeat. then again. "OH. sorry. no. i'm not suicidal."

i don't envy her position. what a difficult job. and probably poor-paying. i just — i just wish it was easier to restart sessions without going through the grinder, again. i'm doing this with the hopes of finally finding the courage to tell my family everything, finally everything. i don't know if i'll succeed. but, i'm trying.

i get my referral. she should call within a few business days to set up an appointment. please follow up with us if not.