i just got my passport back. photo's terrible, but aren't they always? good for ten years. i'm excited. the last few years i've travelled very little, and have only flown once since the pandemic, out west last fall.
over the last three years i did everything right: masked, first with cloth, then surgical masks, then N-95; limited the number of times i was out, going once a week for groceries and gas and minor errands. saw friends very little. had gatherings socially distanced on our driveway. watched as other people said fuck it and just did what they wanted. watched them get covid. watched everyone just generally give up.
i never got covid myself. somehow, neither did my partner. i'm hopeful this is a good thing, long term. i think there's gonna be a long tail of finding-out.
i feel like i've lost a lot the last few years. my dog died in 2020 and i felt like i couldn't breathe for weeks. my grandfather fell sick in 2021 and died shortly after and with omicron ripping through north america, i couldn't see him, couldn't say goodbye. i've lost a lot of faith in a lot of people. i've seen that so many people are selfish, and cruel, and would (will) happily infect me and the people i love because they're bored and can't sit in a room with their thoughts.
the last few months my partner and i have been talking about getting back to what's been delayed. no big trip since 2018 — our trip this year will be the first real vacation for us in five years, and it's time. i've been working out regularly. i've got my passport. i've got plenty of time. i want to look good.
mostly, though: i'm just happy to have something to look forward to.