bluesky: desperately trying for 2015 twitter
whatsapp: 25 years ago we had icq and aim, and you're telling me this is the best we can do?
cohost: it could have been so much more
tildes/gemini: adventures in quiet
neocities: 15k+ views, almost all of which are bots
instagram: if i were glamourous why would i be updating this website
facebook: no