i'm older and that's a blessing. i get to get older and that's a blessing. my 40s not something to be dreaded, but loved. the fifth decade of my life continues, & may there be many more. the last few years i've seen childhood friends die, high school friends die, friends from adulthood die. they're frozen in their 20s & 30s & 40s forever, and i get to get older. i think about this a lot. about my own close calls (& there have been several).
you never think you're going to outlive your friends, but then you do. then you never think the same about those alive now, but chances are, you'll outlive some number of them as well. maybe a few; maybe a lot. two years ago, one of my friends died on the highway in a motorcycle accident. he was a big guy, a happy guy; i wish we could share a few beers again. i wish he could lift me up again, shake me, crack my terrible back. the small things, you know? the things life is made of. like sushi on an unremarkable friday in september, watching the sun set while i eat roll after roll after roll.