2025-01-06: past expectations and easy dreams

the last few days as the christmas break has wound down, i've been getting back into practicing. i've been (as usual) bad and late about this; i should've started when family left on the 27th. but i gave myself the permission and expectation to just relax, so i did. worked on some little projects, finished a couple of poems — it was nice, but always at the back of my mind, that nagging voice telling me, [malachite], there's something else you should be doing, too.

so friday i got my guitar out, got my fiddle out, got back at it. refilled my case humidifiers, which had gone dry and curled. sat down, sipped at a cup of coffee, and just sort of endlessly worked on the same few bars at a stretch. it was nice to get back into things, and any rust from the last couple of weeks of sloth and endless christmas cookies just wasn't there. i'm working on a dowland lute piece on guitar. the banshee reel on fiddle. plus the actual music for my lessons (a movement from an actual concerto — baby's first with the bow —), but the irish stuff is often my warmup, to get my fingers going, feel a driving pulse. i'm bad, but i don't care. it's fun, and once you're past childhood and past any expectations of doing something with music, fun is all there is.

years ago i talked with someone about this sort of thing. they were learning the bodhrán. knew a bit of flute, were thinking of learning the tin whistle. i never said anything about myself, just listened. and not being a fan of the violin, never saw myself ever taking up a bowed string instrument. at the time it would've been anathema. but here we are, hey? past expectations and the easy dreams of youth, with nothing left to do but make some music.

tonight, the banshee (again, again), but also my favourites: tenpenny bit, the swallowtail, road to lisdoonvarna.

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