2025-02-11: composing

as mentioned earlier i've been doing a bunch of composition recently. haven't actually been learning any new music on guitar since last year, and i've just been in kind of a focused haze, writing stuff and then moving on to the next piece. i have a lot of different interests, and i'm bad at neatly dividing time. normally i'll go hard on one particular thing, to the exclusion of others. that's only sort of been the case. i haven't practiced viola much, but i have been writing poems, just about a dozen since the start of the year. i saw on social media that one person said that everything going on right now was paralyzing. not for me: in the absence of any real stability or certainty in the future, my drive to make things has kicked into overdrive.

so i've written a bunch of music. some poems, a number of them increasingly personal. all of this increasingly futile. i'm decades past the age when young poets are fêted, i've yet to publish my first full-length collection, and i'm pretty sure the music i've worked on so hard will never be performed by anyone but me. but so what? i do this because i've always done it. because something compels me to make things. most people labour in the background, their work rarely if ever seen. i can't imagine not making things. time to close this window and get back to the piece i'm trying to finish this week.

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