yeah; i was skinny, and on top of this, i was running too. just endless cardio, carried by my 20s and the general friendlessness (which has since calcified; i have a few friends, good friends, close friends, but making friends when you're not outgoing is just really hard). i eventually got a gym membership for the gym across from work, but i never lifted any weights. it was purely so i could run to work and then have a cold shower.
that first house had a lot of issues, but in terms of my fitness, it was the sweet spot: far enough to be good exercise, not too far that i had to always bus (or worse, drive).
now i'm far out. my new job even further away, and that first house no longer exists, torn down, two new in-fill houses in its place. my options, when i have to go in, are to drive, and that's it. and when i'm working from home, i walk the dogs at lunch, which is great, and then try to get another workout in at some point. usually a half hour of weights before or after work. on a good week, that's 3 days a week? i've had a lot of good weeks lately.
i'm getting stronger and i can feel it. it's strange because in some ways, my mental image of myself is stuck at 17: slim, long hair, clean shaven — visible cheekbones —
but that isn't who i've been in a long time, my weight a solid 30 lbs heavier than when i started university. i don't think i look bad; honestly, i think in some ways i look better; but i've spent the years since the pandemic at roughly this build, though happily, fitter now than in 2020 when we were all sitting about, unable to do much beyond binge netflix and eat our feelings.
so i'm trying to work more cardio in with the weights. i still walk the dogs daily, still run when the weather's good. i'm trying to work in jump rope, trying to put in some time on our shit exercise bike, trying (maybe in vain) to watch what i eat without tracking every calorie in an app, because that road is just a gamified eating disorder.
i'd like to lose 10 lbs by the summer. i'm hoping that's a realistic possibility. i'd like my running times to be a little better. i'd like to lose a little weight around my stomach without being able to feel my hipbone. something else i'm trying to keep in mind: even though the me-in-my-head was slim and angular, he wasn't actually as healthy as i am now. youth was doing a lot of heavy lifting. staying well requires a lot of work.