this summer, a few people started talking about small ensembles. finding the right instruments was hard. well, flute and clarinet were easy (they're always easy), but then you have to find an oboe, a bassoon, a french horn. a couple of people in my section begged off: other commitments, either for the summer or in preparation for the fall. so i said yes; i've been trying to say yes more.
so now i'm playing in a woodwind quintet. this is new/scary/exciting. we're performing at a little thing in a few weeks. i'm lowkey terrified, but that's okay. if i don't get past these fears now, then when? i'm not young anymore. more and more grey creeping in. i'm the oldest in the group, and let's just say 2nd place is a ways behind.
a while ago i mentioned i wish i'd learned guitar when i was younger, formed bands with friends like my friends did, played shows and recorded albums that might've sold a couple hundred copies. stayed out late, get a little drunk on shitty beer after a show. but i didn't, and you can never go back, so what're my options? just, keep playing, keep playing everything. keep practicing. keep saying yes, and keep an ear to the ground. this time last year i hadn't played in a wind band in almost two decades. but here i am, hey? people will surprise you. & things will happen, if you let them.