one of my peers just won a major award and i'm happy for them but also a little sad. because i've been putting in the work for almost fifteen years, thousands of hours, and it's felt like a massive uphill struggle to get anyone even to notice, let alone care. i feel like a normal and well-adjusted person would at this point walk away, understanding that marginality and radio silence is all they're ever going to achieve. but i can't. i'm working on something i love and i can't abandon it. i just...want to say i'm hurting. & that while you celebrate your peers, it's okay to want others to also see your work as good.