one of the things i learned: his first guitar teacher, at the back of one of the local music store, was the boyfriend of a girl i kissed in the summer of '99. oof. i ran into his teacher, an acquaintance of mine, years later at a different local music store. one of my other friends was working there. hey, you remember [malachite]? a cold stare and a grunt/nod, my friend dumbfounded, unaware of the history.
my brother had no clue, either. all i said was, he doesn't like me and has a reason for it. my brother pressed me for more info, but i shook my head. another time. probably pretty likely he can get that info out of others. that's all right.
a different time in my life. i regret the decision to kiss her, & the aftermath of the kiss — she'd break up with him, she and i wouldn't get together, it was selfish, and dumb, the sort of thing you do when you're young & thinking only of yourself. s., i'm sorry.
but i can't regret the kiss itself. at midnight, in the rain, under the streetlights, a year of side-glances and tension spilling over. i can't lie: that much was good.