2026-05-05: one-way contact

the last couple months, i've sent some emails, reached out to some people, and...radio silence. in the past i'd reach out again, polite nudge, that kind of thing, but the last couple months have also been personally bad, so i'm feeling like i won't. reaching out is hard, & if you don't care, maybe i don't care either, y'know?

things have been quiet, and i feel it. things have been quiet, and it hurts. lately i've been very much feeling my age, extra aches, slowness, though my back (luckily, thankfully) taking the winter off. the daily stretching helping, a lot. but the quiet's been harder to deal with. i've been assuming the worst. that i'm annoying, or unwanted (or many other things), the awful anxiety i felt when i was younger roaring back.

new year, old me.

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